Life is amazing and wonderful. Life is crazy and confusing. Life is frustrating and magnificent. Life happens all around us and sometimes we control our day and sometimes our day controls us via commitments or various random happenings.
As much as I try to plan my life, my plan tends to fail. I use to think that meant I had failed. I am learning it is not failing but living. Between my diagnosis’ of depression, anxiety, and ADHD I am a crazy (in a good way) woman who tends to be impulsive, emotional, random, confusing, and totally impatient.
When I find something I am passionate about it can consume me. I get fixated on it. It gets all of my attention to the point that I can push off or even ignore things that need my attention too. I am currently working on balance. Balance. (What does that even mean?) Obviously, this is something I struggle with. A long time ago I had a doctor ask me what my interests were, at the time I was a new LPN working at the hospital and I said working and nursing. I can’t tell you how many double shifts and extra shifts I worked back then. The doctor said ok, what else? I said well what else is there? He said “Alina, we work so we can live but we do not live to work. Find things that inspire you and motivate you to live outside of work.” At the time I thought, hmm, ok. I was young so it wasnt too hard to get involved with my friends and the things they enjoyed such as scrapbooking, that I ended up truly enjoying too.
As the years have passed my interests and passions have changed and been all over the map. It is hard for my hubs to keep up with them all. One time Phil said “babe, I don’t care what you do but what ever you do please be happy”. A theme to my life that seems to creep in a lot. Be Happy. Do what makes you happy. Ever notice that what made you happy yesterday may be so different from what makes you happy today?
I started this blog because I wanted to write about my health and fitness as it has been a life long struggle and I believe women all over can relate. Then after getting off to a great start I thought well crap, I am messing up here and here and I am so not on my A game that wow, I really don’t know that I have anything to offer others after all since I am not perfect at this healthy life style! So I havent been blogging and I am sad because I feel like I am giving up on a passion which is sharing my story with others to offer help, support, and encouragement.
So I want to prepare any and all readers of my blog that from today forward you get to hear about my health and fitness journey but also about my journey as a woman. There are days that my head spins so much I just have to get my thoughts out and they will be here for others to laugh at, cry with, or even shake their heads at. I am ok with that because I am ok with me!
Lately my life has been a rollercoaster as I know many of my friends lives have been too. Where last year at this time I was consumed in my heath and fitness, school work, and staying busy while hubs was deployed this year I am consumed with getting back to work as a LPN, being a wife (its work after they have been gone so long), and about a billioon other random things. I am proud to say though that I eat healthy and make wiser food choices 80% of the time compared to just over a year ago. Excercise happens 3-4 times a week and yes my body felt better when it was the 6-7 days and I want to get back there but life… Life happens… It leads me in different directions and I am learning to navigate them. Every morning I wake up with a new plan on how to stay on track or to get back on track. Every evening I go to bed thinking well dang it, tomorrow is yet again another day! I started negative talk in my head saying well just give up Alina, you have yet again failed at being a healthy athletic woman! But NO, I have not failed. I don’t fail until I give up and I am not giving up. I may struggle every dang day for the rest of my life but I will never stop struggling. I may miss a few workouts but I will never again miss them all. I may eat dessert with my family a few extra times a month but I will never again eat two deserts every day!
This is life. Life is a journey. Life is a struggle. Life happens everyday. Life is precious and we should enjoy the bad right along with the good because at the end of the day we all have something to be grateful for as well as something to look forward to tomorrow!