Feeling less than motivated…

This morning, my saturday that I am supposed to get to go slow and drink coffee while sitting on my hinny on my couch, was taken over by a necessary evil CPR class.  It is one of those things that IMG_0005is required in my nursing life.  The morning started out ok, I got up and ready,  I ate a healthy breakfast and I packed my healthy lunch.  I enjoyed one cup of coffee with my hubs and then headed out.  Things started to go down hill as I realized with 30 minutes to drive 32 minutes I had to stop and get gas, now behind another 5 min I am pulling on the highway when it dawns on me that “my head hurts” because I forgot to take my ADHD med as well as left my beloved second cup of coffee at home.  This isn’t off to a good start.  I  somehow have to sit in a class for 6 hours and not squirrel off too much.  Granted I know my CPR but how well do I know the most current standard is the question.  Seriously you have no idea how much CPR has changed since my first class back in highschool.  Example, anyone remember the finger sweep?  yeah you definitely don’t perform that one anymore.    Anyways, I made it through my class, I have my current BLS certification again and I am ready for the phone call getting me back to work.

As I make the drive home, horrible Oahu traffic per usual, I was mentally planning out the afternoon only to walk through the door to become irritated and overwhelmed with feelings of exhaustion.  Any and all motivation I might have had between leaving class and getting home is completely lost.  I want chocolate.  I want coffee.  I want snacks and not healthy ones.  I put on my workout pants hoping it gets me moving towards my workout.  NOPE.  I ended up on the bed and asleep.  Two hours later I am up to drink a cup of coffee and make dinner.  Kids and hubby playing games, laughing and being silly.  While this is a sound I normally love this evening I am feeling irritated and frustrated by the noise.  This is my real feelings.  This is the way it is some times.  When it is I hate myself.  I hate that I don’t have the natural desire to just do it anyways.  I hate that I am not the happy go getter me at all times, every day, regardless of my “feelings” and “moods”.

IMG_0006It is true that 85% of the time when I force myself out on the pavement jogging it out or press play on a workout video I end feeling more like myself.  Sadly today I just want to sit and veg.  I spent 38 years wondering what it was that made my head hurt and sent me spinning out of control.  I finally have an answer and I deep down know that had I taken my med this morning this evening would be better.  Lessons learned and tomorrow is a new day.  For now I have this sweet boy giving me love.  I will join in the game fun and say goodnight to you all and tomorrow I will be back with more encouragement to make life great!!

Author:

Hello. Welcome. Come on in and join me on my journey as I go from the token fat girl to the ever developing token fit woman. I am "just" a wife and mom who loves Jesus and struggles daily to find the balance we all desire throughout life. I depend on His word for guidance, I fuel my self with healthy foods, and I depend on regular fitness for strength so that I may grow towards the better version of myself each and every day.

One thought on “Feeling less than motivated…

  1. It never ceases to amaze me how EVERY time I renew my CPR, something seems to changed. I was first certified 15 years ago and it’s shocking how much things have changed since then (totally remember the finger sweep!)
    Don’t be too hard on yourself, everyone has those days! It’s completely normal. Weird question, but have you ever tried meditation? It has helped me SO much and in so many ways, one of them being with irritability. Just a thought :). Hope you feel better tomorrow!! ❤ ❤

    Like

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